An Empirical Examination of the Mystic Cycle of Creativity

... The magic, the feeling, the sense, the life - whatever it damned well is - I feel it filling up first in my head, for that is where all things must begin in this upturned and holy vessel. 

It fills me from the top and I am full of thoughts and so many words, so much ardent philosophising and theorising. I become a river of earnest young theories, a constantly babbling noise of poetry and free, unsung verse - it is, you see, monsoon season. The rains of life, of sense, of whatever, rain down: torrents of it rushing into my cold head and filling me toe to top. All this must surely spill out onto page and paper, into my husband’s halfturned ears. And so it does. And it is a glorious relief when those banks are finally breached, word flowing, unconstrained, as tipped ink. 

The feeling, the magic - whatever it bloody well is - dares not taper off and vanish once its limpid matter spills over those banks. It is, instead, absorbed down through my neck into the hollow grounds of my chest. The cavern is now breached, but the most extreme of my forces, pressures and temperatures are there to meet it; the waters immediately evaporate, turning into steam upon first contact. But, O! Where can this steam, this feeling, this life, whatever, escape to! There is only one way out and that is through my irate mouth. All of a sudden, the riverine abstraction has made of me a hot spring. Every emotion hits at the walls of my breast and I find that I have anger aplenty; my seduction, too, erupts; rampant joy flings upwards, scalding the air like a manic screech. All of these, my elemental furies, throwing their steaming fists against the world, against you, against me. 

This amount of energy can never last long. It is gone almost at the exact point of release. The rage is soon spent and the pressure that once rose so high now trickles coyly back down, forking into two directions: along both arms and towards my hands. 

My hands (these hands). The life, the sense - whatever the f ck it is - now buzzes at my fingertips and I am forced to wield whatever tool is compelled into its electromagnetic grasp. Graphite, chalk and charcoal are the ephemeral instruments that are so often found vibrating across one sheet or another, connecting the lines that ensnare some poor flower or shore or bird that is waving in the field of my vision. Yet more pages - page upon page, and sometimes canvas, too - are filled in a heightening frenzy as the sense, the feeling, the life, whatever, is channelled through these dread hands. And then, suddenly, they are exhausted. They cannot hold the force of it for too long - they are overcome with weakness, becoming limp at my sides. So off it slinks, down into my womb. 

We will not speak, here, of sacred things that happen down in the happy, tortured womb. 

Days pass, I emerge from a sanguine daze as the magic, the sense, the life - oh, whatever! - passes my hipbones to meet in my thighs. Now, it has taken on a viscous quality that trickles further still. Trickles slowly into my bones, sinew, flesh and all, reaching my bent knees, making my calves sticky and curiously sweetsmelling. At first, my lower limbs are so thick with the substance, the life, the magic, whatever, that I must move heavily to a rhythm - God, any thumping rhythm! - that will unstick me before it is too late and I'm consumed, hip down. As it reaches my ankles, as it coats each tiny bone within my feet, I find that I have been in fever, swaying and stomping and sweating all along. I have found a way to move through this and it has begun to feel more like resurrection than mere ritual. 

The magic, the feeling, the sense, the life - whatever it really is - has moved through my entire body, filled my whole upended vessel, brim to foot. 'What is this,' I have asked myself each time I feel the cycle beginning afresh - starting in my head, working its way through chest, throat, hands, womb, legs and all. 'What is this and why is this and how is this.' 

Note the absence of question mark, the plenitude of declarative. Something primordial in me knows that it need never ask what why and how. All I know is who I am, who it makes me, what it unmakes in me. I know it as the way seasons show up around the year; it is the earth that roves slowly around the sun, the way bulbs wilt and spring eternal, seas run shuttles of rock against sand, flocks murmur across the same incomprehensible migratory paths over thousands of years. It is the truth and it is perfected in its very nature; it is always creating, turning, and always turning out something new from this ancient string of prayers we may stoop to call a soul. 

It is, it is, it is...

Indefinite leave

Published ghost writer

abandons dreams to become

unmade, unreal. oh!

Starlings On Sunday

 The darkest cloud swells and subsides again and again. It has become a welcome speckled sight against these usually still skies. The flock is as punctual as only nature in her timelessness knows how to be, arriving in our patch of grey at around 5.20 every evening. I spend the next few minutes watching a grand and ancient waltz that I imagine must continue to swirl forever over other roofs in other towns long after my curtains have closed and the streetlights flicker on. 

 If my son is with me at this time, I point the flock out to him and he stands by the window in as much awe as me, asking the same two questions over and over again: "Mummy, what are they doing? Mummy, where are they going?" For those few minutes and beyond I do not know whether or how to answer him, because the lightness of some mysteries are so sacred that I'd rather not weigh them down with a simple search and a simpler answer. Some days I decide to tell him they are dancing, I tell him they are going wherever the wind takes them, and he tells me that sounds fun. I silently agree.

Today we watch the birds swell, subside and swirl. As I watch, I'm listening to an old playlist of sentimental songs I never intend on letting go, singing along heartily and missing all the top notes, swaying with my baby girl, watching my not-so-baby boy run from my side to reimmerse himself into his play, smelling the food my husband is preparing for our dinner, feeling my way ever so slowly through this home, this family, this expanded heart with all of its stretch marks. This rugged life of mine. And this? It is the writing and recording of moments of it all, it is the cherry atop my healing Sunday filled with starlings on grey skies. It is a necessary ritual for my body and blood to feel good in themselves again. Just for today, I feel good inside myself again. I hope that this is more than enough to see me through.

Testing testing

 Don’t be deceived by the deafening digital silence. I’ve been writing copiously, usually on the most sleepless of nights. Pixelated reams of nonsense or otherwise obfuscatory metaphors have come bursting out of me like the shit out of my precious daughter’s nappies. And it’s all been just that: the yellowest of shit. I know you’ll understand how I’ve been too scared to publish most of it, for fear of being completely seen through. Or, worse yet, seen and believed that is all there is to it. To me. Shallow shallow language for a shallow little girl, not even deep enough to tickle a babe’s chubby ankles. This is some of what I’ve felt and, having put the sum of it out here, I feel a bit too exposed and cold (but you know what we say about the cold).

 I’ve been thinking maybe anger becomes overrated past a certain point. Sometimes it hits like foul flatulence released noisily into a crowded gathering, making everyone a little annoyed and uncomfortable until it disperses and only awkwardness lingers. I feel like I’m getting everything so wrong this time around. For once I don’t know what else to say - life has become something besides my own, which makes it all the more difficult for this long-time naval-gazer to examine it properly and report back on. If I had a mentor to turn to right now I’m sure she’d ask one question over and over and over again: what exactly are you trying to say? 

Then say it.

The Grace of God has come down from on high to sit right next to me, just like I’ve been pleading for so long. I, in turn, sit here behaving as though she is a stranger I have never seen before. What am I to say to her this time? What am I not to say? Something better left off these bare white pages either way. I don’t know what I’m becoming and I’d rather not explain whatever it is as I am unfurling & discovering. 

MAMA HOLDS ANGER

 The torrents of Anger that wept down when I rose to greet my first pregnancy took us all by surprise, shock and horror. When it drenched us again during my second pregnancy, we were doubly astounded. Anger is not an emotion typically associated with motherhood, let alone ‘good’ motherhood. I think I shocked myself the most, because I had always believed & often declared myself to be a fairly peaceful, conflict-avoiding citizen. I’m known to my colleagues as Zen Seun, to my family and close friends as The Mediator, always sticking my oar in to diffuse and placate wherever high emotions and injustices arise.

But the first nine-month period of Undoing and Growing and Becoming Anew apparently let loose long-bound fastenings. Things that I had not been allowed or given myself space to feel for a very very long time, if ever, had their great escape and it was equal parts ugly, painful and exhilerating. There was anger, yes, but fiercer things still we were met with: desire, passion, terror, disappointment, sheer joy, unbridled faith and hope and fear and so many others whose names I did not even know.

The biggest grace I have received in my experience of becoming a mother is the opening up of a special new space (or perhaps it was always there, unnoticed on my periphery) to be exactly who I am and always have been and was always meant to be. Wholly me - good, bad, delightful and devious all present and accounted for. Not just Good Daughter, Defender of Sisterhood, Doting Wife, Loyal Friend, Mediating Presence or even simply (complexly) Mother of Any Kind. I am all and so much more - my newfound expansiveness is most fulfilling even though I have no clue into what where or whom I might continue to expand. I do now know that at the end of each blessed little battle of a day, the only person I and my children need me to be is ALL of me. Acknowledging, knowing and accepting this under all circumstances has been my most glorious feminine triumph yet and I can only rightly give that glory back to my Maker. 

The only shame I've happened to feel here is that it took this long for me to arrive at who I've always known myself to be (and I say ‘this long’ as if I’ve not only just turned 29 - some never get this close to themselves at all if we’re being real). I just feel like I’ve been holding my breath and holding myself in up until the point I knew I was to be a mother. Motherhood in all its cherished forms (biological, adoptive, spiritual, or otherwise) is by no means ‘for’ everyone for myriad complicated, mystical and human reasons, nor is it at all a necessary prerequisite of joyful self-discovery and -expression. But I know in my own body and bones as I’ve always known for as long as I can remember: that it is a very essential part of who I, Oluseun (neĆ© Alabi) Stancombe, am. This assuredness isn’t everyone’s experience - in fact it is perhaps the opposite for many in our anxiety-riddled self-conscious world - so I also acknowledge the incredible privilege of giving myself total permission to be what I am, external expectations and consequences be damned. Again, I can only thank my Maker here.

Of course turning up to the same old party freshly hatched as oneself can cause a great deal of confusion and damage to the people around you, especially if there is a great deal of perceived negative change. To clutch at the familiarity of albeit limited/limiting titles again, going from Agreeable Yes Woman to Combative Shouty Lady for example, all in such a compressed space of time, can be jarring from the outside. What might have seemed a gradual and natural awakening to me was perhaps more like the sudden flip of a switch in the wrong direction to some others. What brought light and freedom to me, how I view myself, how I operate as purely as I can within this world, may have brought sheaths of shadow and darkness to the person others thought they knew well enough in me. While I sympathise, I hold no shame and proffer no apologies here. My only hope through all this is that my little family will be all the richer for mama showing them just how powerful and Good it can be to walk in the spaces that have been divinely held for you, and how wonderful it is to truly follow the lifelong process of knowing thyself and turning up to all those spaces as exactly who you are. There is no point in denial or repression here; more so, the feelings of guilt and shame that often dog these openings have their place and use but certainly not here. Only truth and integrity, with a healthy dose of compassion of course, are worthy pursuits for me and mine. Call it naive to make such bold, stake-driving statements at so tender an age on something as inconsequential as an online personal blog, but this is indeed how I’ve always intended to grow my life and make it as bounteous as is within my God-given power.