Kayin told me not to move or to blink and so I am sitting here with my eyes wide open, breathing.
This wind is merciless and takes tears from my eyes without permission. My God, it smarts, and I don’t know how long she has kept me like this. Where is she? Where are you my Kayin?
The blackness dissolves my vision from the outside in and soon it will be a single speck, searching in the dark. I will not be able to see you when you come back for me, my Kayin. Where are you my Kayin?
I sent you to the house to bring me my wrapper and my fan, but the wind has gone and the sun has gone and you are not here, my Kayin. Where are you my Kayin?
Can you still hear the hawkers in the closingdown markets calling your name for me, Kayin? Can you see my lips open in the darkness as they ceaselessly cry out these two syllables for you, Kayin? Where are you my Kayin?
I am crying for you, Kayin, my child. I am crying like I did not know you before you left my side to wander home. I am searching for you, Kayin. I am longing for you like I never had you.
Though I cannot move because you told me to be still and wait, I will shake and shake all because of you, my Kayin.
